I'm not very good at cooking, but I do enjoy tasty food. This means either spending way too much money on restaurants, or making simple but delicious dishes at home.
Today we'll be cooking up a depraved bachelor version of Pasta Puttanesca. Since I'm a lonely geek I'll be eating this magnificent lunch alone.


This is what you'll need: Some fresh fettuccini (you'll need around 150-200 grams for one person), extra virgin olive oil, a yellow onion, crushed tomatoes, capers (mine are pickled), anchovies, garlic, pepper, some parmesan. You won't be needing any salt since we'll be adding a lot of those wonderful anchovies.


Start chopping the onion. I'm using half of it and since I'm a big onion fan I like my pieces to be big and chunky.


Start boiling the water for the pasta.


While the pasta water is heated, fry the onions in just a splash of olive oil.


Garlic time! I use two big cloves since garlic is the poor mans truffles. Or something.


Whoops, I missed a few steps. Here I've added some of the crushed tomatoes to the onions and gone wild with the pepper. I like the sauce to be kind of hot, and I don't go by any specific recipe so I add to taste. If you'de like to put in any other seasonings and spices, now would be a good time. If you like a runny sauce, just use more crushed tomatoes.


Time for the anchovies! Again, this is like a seasoning, so add to taste. When you stir them around they will dissolve in the sauce, spreading their salty goodness like God spreads fluffy rabbits on the grassy fields of paradise.


By now the water should be boiling, so in with the pasta. The neat thing about fresh fettuccini is that it only needs to boil for like one or two minutes.


One of my pet shoes caught the scent of the lovely anchovies dissolving in the tomato sauce and wandered into the kitchen. Bad shoe!


The finishing touches: Here I've added some capers and a good amount of parmesan. I like adding the parmesan to the sauce because of the texture it provides.


Now, just pour all the water from the pasta and add the pasta to the sauce pan. Give it a good stir so the sauce mixes with the pasta and clings to it. Ready to eat!


There are a lot of variations on this, you could for example also add black olives. I didn't have any at home, but it was still very delicious.

Edit: If you're not into anchovies, I strongly suggest you add a good handful of chopped-up black olives and quite a bit of salt. It will never be the same, though.